During the analysis process and based on the mind maps of all 25 interviews, five broad themes emerged out of the data: (1) strengths and resilience, (2) re-building personally valued lives, (3) making sense of past experiences, (4) moving away from a harmful lifestyle, and (5) (in)formal social supports. Each of these themes contains a number of subthemes (Fig. 1), which will be discussed in more detail below. The themes and subthemes show some overlap. This is connected to the nature of human narratives, which is complex, unstructured and full of paradoxes. Moreover, the dialectical process of the interview itself can re-structure and re-frame participants’ appraisal and sense making of their experiences.
Experiencing strengths and resilience
This theme is closely related to the concept of ‘agency’ and can broadly be categorized in the subthemes: ‘self-image/new identity’; and ‘taking control of the future’.
Self-image/new identity
Adolescents frequently mentioned low self-image or self-esteem when talking about the period before and during their stay in the CI, often accompanied by feeling ashamed of the things they had done in the past and the way others (used to) see them. However, adolescents who felt like they had succeeded in making some significant changes in their lives, argued that it made them feel better and proud of themselves, which in turn contributed to their motivation to hold on. In the same respect, adolescents emphasized the strength of important others (e.g. their parents, friends, a group worker he/she feels connected with, a teacher, …) noticing and appreciating these changes. For some, it was mostly through the eyes of others that they were able to start seeing themselves in a more positive way again. Consistent with experiencing improved self-esteem, participants sometimes tried to get rid of the old version of themselves by adopting a new identity, one in which they felt able to be proud of themselves.
“People used to see me as a junkie, and they were right back then. But that is not who I am, not who I want to be. I am no longer a weirdo. My teacher said she sees me as a role model for some other students now. That makes me so proud. One of the first times I am actually proud of myself” (Adam, 17, living with parents)
“I was selected by the ‘Commissariat for Children’s Rights’ to be in the jury for a prize. We can say what is good and what goes wrong in childcare […] like a parliament, all very fancy, we even slept in a hotel. I told my story to some high-ranked people, one of them was fighting her tears, imagine that! I told everything I have gone through, all the pain and anger. My story moved her. She is a director or something like that, and now I am working with her, trying to find out how we can make things better” (Yasmine, 17, living in open institution)
Adolescents in our study had often been—mostly involuntarily—the recipients of care and support in the past. Consequently, they enjoyed being able to switch the roles, and become the ones who gave support to others, who were able to—because of their own experiences—help others out. Wanting to protect younger siblings, or simply to be a good example for them was an important drive for some of them. Others indicated they do not want anyone to feel as bad or alone as they had been in the past.
“Because of all that I have gone through in my life, I kind of feel like I have a special radar for people who are in trouble, I just feel it when I’m around them. I always try to help, either by listening or by distracting them from their problems. Everyone needs someone from time to time” (Sophia, 18, living independently)
“I just don’t want my little sister to make the same mistakes. From all these years, I have learnt when things can go wrong. I will to be there for her on these moments. I don’t want her to feel like she’s on her own.” (Lucas, 16, residing in psychiatric institution)
Taking control of the future
This theme is connected to the ‘self-image’ theme, as participants indicated that it was in relation to—and by virtue of—a growing self-confidence, that they started believing in their own capacities to create a better future. The decisiveness to manage their lives was very palpable in some participants’ stories. Furthermore, participants often stressed the importance of taking responsibility for their lives themselves, and not merely relying on others to improve their situation. This was also connected to recognizing and acknowledging their own share in mistakes from the past and drawing lessons from it for the future. Even though the individual responsibility for creating a better future was often stressed, some adolescents also referred to being able to ask help from others as a way of ensuring that everything went well.
“A lot of people helped me and supported me in it [changing former lifestyle], and I am very grateful to them, but in the end, I was the one who had to make the switch in my mind, and then act accordingly, no one else could do that for me. […] I can count on them, and if things go wrong in the future, I will tell them. I’m not so stubborn anymore to think I can do it all by myself” (Isabella, 15, living in open institution)
“Every person must work on his own future. I am the only person who can ensure that everything goes well for me. I do not hope for a better future, because I just have to make it happen myself” (Oliver, 18, living with mother and brother)
Re-building personally valued lives
Valuable things in your life
This subtheme relates to inspiring and motivating elements in the adolescents’ life, and is related to the question “what gives direction and meaning to your life?”. Five of the adolescents—all of them Muslim—identified religion as the key element in their lives, helping them defy hard times and guiding them to make the right choices. Being able to experience and express their religion during their stay in the CI had been very helpful and strengthening for them.
“My faith offered me some hope again, I had something good to focus on […] I have never been happy in my life. I could not believe that there is any God who would want that, so I thought of my stay [in the CI] as a chance from him to bring better things into my life” (Hannah, 17, living in open institution)
While talking about what is valuable and inspiring in the adolescents’ lives, important others were frequently mentioned. Mostly, these important others were family members, such as parents, siblings or grandparents, with whom the adolescents experienced—or used to experience—a loving or caring relationship. Wanting these others to be proud of them and trust them (again) was a central theme in adolescents’ stories. Family members were mentioned most frequently (n = 12), but close friends (n = 8) and intimate partners (n = 7) also contributed significantly to adolescents’ willingness to change. Intimate partners were only mentioned by girls, while close friends were mostly referred to by the boys. Moreover, professional caregivers (n = 8) and school teachers (n = 6) can play a significant role in the adolescents’ life. Experiencing success at school, either by obtaining good grades, or by having teachers who believe in the adolescents and encourage them, contributed greatly to some adolescents’ sense of well-being.
“She [former group worker] is the most important person in my life. She has always been there for me. I even got my very first birthday present from her. […] She comes to visit me from time to time […] I’m always looking forward to that, even though she nags at me when I’m behaving stupid”. (Charlotte, 17, living in a studio with professional support)
“My boyfriend, but also my teachers, they are the most important ones in my life […] They talk to me, they are interested in who I am, I can be a cheerful and enthusiastic girl when I am around them, not ‘that girl who lives in an institution” (Ella, 16, residing In psychiatric institution)
“I feel happy here [at school], they [teachers] don’t put too much pressure. Most of us are ‘problem children’, we all have our stories […] the atmosphere is good, we all respect one another. You don’t get punished for having a bad day. They talk to you, asking you what’s going on. That’s why it works for me… yell at me and I will do the opposite…” (Emily, 18, living with mother)
When asked “what is important for you to feel good?”, adolescents mentioned a variety of themes. Some of these themes appear to be highly valued by most of the participants: (1) being surrounded by loved ones and experiencing pleasure with them; (2) experiencing freedom; and (3) themes related to ‘procedural justice’. The first aspect has been reported above. The second one, ‘experiencing freedom’, can be perceived on different levels: literally—as in not being locked up—and having the freedom to go when and where one wants to go; but also in a more figurative sense, as in being able to have your own thoughts and make your own choices, as well as to express yourself and to be able to show the ‘real’ you. Adolescents referred more often to freedom in this more figurative sense (freedom of mind) as one of the things they missed most during their stay in the CI, and which they highly valued in their current lives. As such, the freedom-theme is closely related to the third valued aspect: experiencing ‘procedural justice’. Several adolescents emphasized this theme as they had negative experiences with it in the past. Some examples of things that contributed to the perception of fair treatment are: being fully informed on one’s own trajectory, being listened to and having the opportunity to tell your version of a story, as well as being treated as a full-fledged discussion partner.
“We all had our masks on [in CI], because if you really say or show what you think, you will probably get punished. It made me feel like a dog sometimes: be good and shut up. Here [current institution] I feel like I can say anything. That’s such a relief” (Yasmine, 17, living in open institution)
“They [juvenile judge and social worker] listened to me, but only because they are obliged to do so. They were not at all interested in what I was thinking, they had their mind made up in advance and that was it. It made me feel very powerless” (Nathan, 16, living with mother and sister)
Participants’ goals were related to the life stage they were in and were connected to the desire of living more independent and autonomous lives. Finding a paid (weekend) job was the most frequently (n = 15) mentioned short-term goal, and being able to earn money was the predominant reason for the adolescents to want a job. Almost all adolescents (n = 18) were worried about their financial situation. Seven participants also stressed the importance of ‘having something useful to do’ and ‘not getting too bored’ (as they feared they would get in trouble then) as the main reason for wanting a job. Furthermore, some of them saw it as an opportunity to prove their good intentions to their parents or even the juvenile judge. Besides finding a job, other goals were related to school or education. For a large subgroup of the adolescents, this was an ambivalent goal, as they experienced turbulent school careers, often characterized by long periods of truancy or drop out. Some of them saw school as a finalized chapter in their lives, but most adolescents did hope to obtain a diploma or certificate 1 day in order to get a good job and an honest pay for it.
A striking observation during the interviews was that most participants, apart from some who had clear professional aspirations (e.g. working in restaurants, becoming a sports teacher or working in a day care nursery), seemingly did not really dare to dream or at least spoke very cautiously about their future aspirations. Most of them indicated they just hoped to be able to have a normal life and to be happy 1 day, and some of them expected that having a family of their own would contribute to that. As such, finding some form of inner peace, together with leading a more independent and autonomous life, seemed to be central themes in the adolescents’ current lives.
“There is just too much going on […] I think the best thing I can hope for is that… I don’t know… One day I will have a normal life or something like that… That would be a lot already” (Oliver, 18, living with mother and brother)
Re-thinking social networks
Throughout the adolescents’ stories, family and friends—and to a lesser extent intimate partners—played a very important role, either positive or negative. Mostly, they were a source of unconditional support, and the ones who brought joy into the adolescents’ lives. However, sometimes family members and friends were also jointly responsible for difficulties the adolescents experienced, which may have led them to take the decision of distancing themselves from these networks. The ambivalence concerning this theme, and the pain and doubt that went along with it, was very tangible in some adolescents’ accounts of their first weeks and months after leaving the CI. They felt torn between, on the one hand engaging in self-care by not seeing these persons any longer, but on the other hand missing them and the positive things they brought (e.g. joy, adventure, feeling important, …) into their lives. This led some adolescents to give up on their intention to stop seeing these others, while others persevered and actively focused on other persons in their lives or looked for new networks by joining a new sports club or going to another school.
“I shut down all contact with her [mother]. She has never been good to me, but still, it hurts […] I try to surround myself with positive people […] I’m often with my aunt now, she is like a sister to me […] and I got back in touch with some girls from the youth movement I joined as a child” (Chloe, 17, living in open institution)
“[in the CI] I planned on not seeing my friends anymore, and I did in the beginning. But I don’t go to school, no job, I just played video games from morning until night. It drove my mom crazy. Not really an ideal life either, you know […] When they [friends] heard I was back, they came here to pick me up to go partying. Mom didn’t want me to go, but I did anyway. I felt happy again that night, like nothing had changed […] Life is just better with friends” (David, 18, living with mother)
Making sense of past experiences
Most adolescents perceived their stay in the CI as a drastic and stressful life event, using terminology as “my life before and after”. During their stories, they often tried to make sense of and seek for explanations for the things that happened in their lives and that led them to their current situations.
Looking back at life before detention
Adverse and traumatic childhood experiences (ACEs) were present in nearly all adolescents’ stories (20 out of the 25). Notwithstanding most adolescents’ difficult and harsh circumstances prior to their detention, they often referred to this period with a certain melancholy or nostalgia, describing it as ‘adventurous’, ‘fun’ and ‘making them feel alive’. Others described their lives before the CI mostly in negative terms as unhappy and sometimes desperate times.
“I lived on the streets. I was often scared and lonely. At a certain point I was actively trying to get arrested so that I could get some rest and help” (Amy, 17, living in open institution)
“I often miss my former life [before stay in CI]. It was exciting and adventurous […] I felt more alive back then. but it also ruined me. I haven’t been to school since I was 14, I spent part of my teenage years behind bars, I screwed up with my family” (Aaron, 18, living independently)
Experience of stay in the CI
Unsurprisingly, most adolescents did not like their stay in the CI, and feelings of being frustrated, lonely and powerless were often mentioned. However, adolescents also mentioned a variety of positive aspects connected to their stay in the CI; experiences, events or persons that offered comfort, encouraged them, motivated them and made them feel worthy. Seven adolescents described their stay in the CI as a shocking experience and consequently a real eye-opener; a starting point to turn their lives around. They talked about it as ‘an opportunity’ or ‘a chance being given to them’. Others perceived the CI as a sort of ‘moratorium’, a period in which they were taken away from their own environment, but in which nothing really changed, and afterwards everyone simply returned to his/her own life. A number of adolescents indicated that their stay in the CI was—at least in hindsight—a good opportunity for them to diminish or even stop using drugs.
“It [not having drugs] was hard, but after a while, I started seeing things very clear again. It felt like the fog I used to be in was going away, and I could see a new me […] one who is alive, who is able to laugh and enjoy things […] It was like rediscovering myself” (Adam, 17, living with parents)
Adolescents clearly differentiated between group workers and staff members who had been ‘good’ and ‘helpful’ to them and others who did not. Almost all adolescents had at least one group worker or staff member who was important for them, whom they experienced a trusting relationship with. The following key elements were emphasized as important aspects to perceive a relationship with the staff as positive: ‘experiencing warm and genuine care’, ‘being reasonable/being able to handle rules flexibly’, ‘getting trust’, ‘seeing the good in the adolescents’ and ‘being able to have fun’.
“I felt closely connected to one of the group workers […] He was like me, ‘chill’. Not making a big deal of everything […] He made me push my boundaries during sports activities, but also on a more personal level” (Alex, 17, living in an open institution)
“They [two group workers in CI] cared for me in a parental and soft manner. I never expected that but it felt good. They made me feel important […] I still call them sometimes” (Eliza, 18, living with boyfriend)
Furthermore, adolescents experienced support and pleasure by engaging in friendship relations with other adolescents in their group. Having friends in the institution seemed to contribute significantly to boys’ feelings of wellbeing. These friendships were described as rather superficial, mostly revolving around pleasure and a way to counteract boredom and isolation. For the girls, the friendship theme played out in a more ambivalent way. Eight of the girls indicated they kept distance from the group in the first weeks as they did not want to get involved with “those criminals or prostitutes”. However, almost all girls did engage in close friendships with others in their group after a while. Unlike for the boys, this seemed to induce high levels of distress for girls, with lots of gossiping and fights. Four girls, however, emphasize the close bond they experienced with other girls in their group as the most important element that helped them throughout their stay.
“We [the girls] were always there for each other, helping each other out, you know, we have been through the same kind of stuff […] I had two very close friends in my group, we pulled each other up, they were like family to me” (Olivia, 17, living in open institution)
Other elements that were perceived as helpful during some adolescents’ stay in the CI, were educational and sports activities, as they contributed to the feeling of ‘having something useful to do’ and ‘experiencing pleasure’. Whereas most adolescents complained on the amount of time they had to spend in their room, for some others these moments became valuable and it taught them new ways of organizing their free time (e.g. reading, writing in a diary, getting some rest, listening to music, making lists and plans for the future,…).
“I learnt how to read in the CI. I knew how to do it from primary school but I have rarely been to school since then so I did not really […] But there, those first weeks, I was so bored that I started reading books […] it feels ridiculous to say but it changed my life. I spend every free hour at the library now” (Aaron, 18, living independently)
Six adolescents were able to move to a more open group in the CI, in which they were gradually prepared for life outside the institution. Adolescents received more freedom in this group and also more responsibilities (e.g. having the chance to go on their own school or to have a job in the neighborhood of the institution). They talked about this as a very positive experience, as they had the feeling their group workers trusted and believed in them. The rules in this group were not as strict as in the other groups, which was highly valued by the adolescents. Moreover, being able to have contact with the outside world was perceived as very helpful.
Life lessons
Notwithstanding the fact that most adolescents perceived their stay in the CI as an unpleasant experience, most of them draw some important individual lessons from it. It made them re-think the choices they had been making in their lives up until then, it made them realize who and what was important in their lives and for some, it gave them hope for a better future. Being away from their own environments enabled some adolescents to look at their own lives from a different perspective, and to re-evaluate the people and activities in their lives. Furthermore, it gave them a clearer view of what they really wanted to achieve in their lives. For some adolescents however, the experience of being ‘detained’ was extremely frustrating, leading them to complete disinterest and even aversion of professional care.
“It made me realize that I have to look after my own, that I should stand up for myself and not letting others determine my life and future” (Lucas, 16, residing in psychiatric institution)
“People change, at least I did… A lot of bad things happened in my life and at some points I was the one making it even more difficult. That makes me sad sometimes but the most important thing is that you learn from it […] When you’re in trouble, talk to people, when you’re feeling bad, talk to people. I used to hate all caregivers, but I know now that you just have to look for the good ones” (Amy, 17, living in open institution)
“It [stay in CI] definitely changed me. I still have nightmares sometimes. It made me anxious. I am never at ease anymore, because I know now that people can take away everything from you if they want to. At night, I make lists of everything I want to do, everything I want to achieve. It all has to happen here and now. I am only seventeen and I am looking for an apartment, I want a job, I want a partner and a child as soon as possible. Not later, but now, because I am afraid I won’t get the chance anymore […] I am not waiting any longer, if there is something I want, I go for it” (Charlotte, 17, living in a studio with professional support)
“The most valuable thing they [CI] have done for me, is giving me hope again. They made me believe that things can get better and that there are people out there who care about me” (Eliza, 18, living with boyfriend)
Moving away from a harmful lifestyle
At the time of the interview, most of the adolescents had already changed some aspects in their lives, or were currently trying to stop displaying harmful behavior (e.g. using drugs, stealing, getting into fights).
Contemplation: to change or not to change
Adolescents took divergent positions in relation to this theme. Furthermore, some adolescents switched from one position to another during the first weeks and months after ‘release’ from the CI. Most adolescents experienced some ambivalence in the decision on changing or not changing particular aspects of their lives. Some of the reasons or motivations for adolescents to change have already been discussed in the previous themes. The most important considerations or drives for change were: “to make important others proud (again)”; “because I have new responsibilities” (e.g. pregnancy, having to pay a house rent, having a job); and “for myself” (self-respect and growing self-confidence, improving health, for a better future). On the other hand, for those who choose not to change, or who ‘relapsed’ into old habits, the main considerations or reasons for this were: “reaching the age of legal majority/no more involvement of youth care”, “influence of (old) friends”, “financial considerations”, “being happy with one’s own life and corresponding lifestyle”, and “wanting to experience pleasure”.
“I have changed a lot due to my relationship, but also just… you know, I have to do everything myself, living alone made me grow up. I have to pay my rent, have to clean my house, all those things. I don’t have time for the childish stuff anymore. You have to behave like a grown up, and not like a seven-year-old. That rebellious life is a bit over for me” (Jessica, 18, living independently)
“I try not to do it [stealing] anymore, because if I get caught I would be too ashamed to ever look my parents in the eyes again […] but sometimes I have a girl, you want to have a drink, take her on a date… You need money for that…” (Nathan, 16, living with mother and sister)
“It was the best time of my life, the worst because we had nothing, but the best because we did whatever we wanted to do, we did not care about anything or anyone, just having fun, all day, all night […] I could be me, just me. Now people expect me to become a new me, a boring version of myself, but what’s in it for me?” (Dylan, 18, living with relative)
Turning points
This is closely related to the contemplation-theme. For some adolescents—describing their stay in the CI as a life changing event—the mere fact of being sent there can be seen as a turning point. For others, turning points were linked to people rather than to specific moments in time. Five adolescents designated their current boyfriend or girlfriend as the ones who were responsible for and motivated them in their change process. Others were mostly prepared to make some changes because they wanted their parents and siblings to be proud of them, and because they wanted to become proud of themselves again. Friends and peers could both play a supportive and encouraging role for adolescents in changing or maintaining their new lifestyle. However, some adolescents’ stories showed that friends could trigger relapses in old habits as well. Building up new networks appeared to be a very powerful—yet hard to realize—hook for change. These networks were sometimes found by joining a new sports club, or for some adolescents by moving to a new school or a new (open) institution. Having people in their life was a first step, but an even more compelling aspect for the adolescents was that these people genuinely cared about them, and made them feel worthy and important. Some adolescents indicated ‘getting a (new) chance’ as a hook for change, e.g., getting in contact with and apologizing to their victims, getting a job, being re-admitted to their old school, having the chance to live independently (mostly with professional support), getting financial support…. Furthermore, being able to address faults from the past, and to be forgiven or be seen differently by others was an important turning point in some adolescents’ lives.
“I am not proud of what I have done, but I am not ashamed either. I have done my sentence and I learned from it […] I don’t want to keep living in the past […] I got the chance to come here, to go to school again, I am doing good, my teachers like me and I get along very well with my group workers. Why would I want to ruin that?” (Chloe, 17, living in open institution)
(In-)formal supports
Received support
Adolescents’ stories showed that both formal and informal networks can play a significant supportive role in their lives. Adolescents experienced support from their family, intimate partner, friends and peer group, but also from school, teachers and professional caregivers—provided that the relationship was perceived as warm and sincere. Professional home based counselling following the period of detention was an ambivalent theme for a number of adolescents, because of the mandatory nature of this care. Notwithstanding adolescents indicated that they needed some form of support during this period, the received care was sometimes perceived as “too much, too invasive and too controlling”. For some, this made them feel as if they were not trusted and as if they were still being punished for the things they had done.
“When I am having a dispute or trouble with my mom, I can call her [home based counsellor], I can talk to her, that calms me down […] She is young, it is like talking to another youngster, but still it is different, because you don’t discuss problems with your friends […] I have to see her three times in a week, so I will be relieved when it stops, because there are times when I don’t have anything to say to her because everything is just normal. I would rather spend my time with my friends or girlfriend then” (Nathan, 16, living with mother and sister)
Needed support
Most adolescents received some kind of support from their own network of friends and family. However, four adolescents indicated they have no social network to rely on, only the professional caregivers in their institution. While professional support, either in the form of residential care or home based counselling, was perceived as very supportive and helpful by about half of the adolescents, others referred to some difficulties connected to this. Some adolescents had the feeling their professional caregivers were preoccupied with providing emotional support, while at some points in their trajectories, adolescents mainly needed practical and financial support. They felt left out in the cold, and felt unable to tackle these challenges on their own. Furthermore, adolescents had the feeling that the structured way in which professional care was organized (e.g. having to go there at fixed times or someone coming to your house several times a week) was not an adequate answer to their support needs at that time, and was consequently sometimes perceived as a waste of time. This was connected to some adolescents’ frustration of not being taken seriously and not being listened to, which consequently led them to feeling powerless and unable to direct their own life.
“I have considered going to one [psychologist], because it’s been a lot and there are days when I feel like I cannot do this on my own. But most days I am feeling ok and I don’t feel like talking about my past. But it doesn’t work like that. You have to make an appointment and then you have to go, no matter how you feel that day. If you have a good day, it might spoil the rest of your day, do you understand? I just need someone for those days when I feel miserable and when I can’t manage to get out of my bed, but you cannot expect these people to work like that” (Sophia, 18, living independently)
“The only thing they have to do is listen to us, not treating us as if we are children or criminals or whatsoever, just talk to me, you know, like you would talk to a normal person. Just come to my house or have a drink with me, then you will maybe get to know me. My social worker invites me in her office two times a year, we sit there in this crazy white room and she is convinced she knows me and my family so good, that she can say what has to happen to us in the next year. I get very upset by that, because it feels as if they have taken away a large part of my childhood, and for what?” (Irene, 17, living with mother and sister)